Friday was a half day but then Alex and I worked on saturday. I have some concerns regarding work; I have been working on the same house for a while now and have been the surrogate crew leader when the real one doesn't feel like working (which was 4 of 5 days this past week) but I originally only started on that house to do tiling. And now there is another house that needs tile done on it and I'm not sure if I will be able to go there and do it, especially if I have to keep filling in for my shitty crew leader. I mean the homeowner calls me now with questions about most everything going on in the house, and the crew leader doesn't know anything about what has been going on, not to mention he really doesn't seem to care. He doesn't, and hasn't ever, written the daily site reports on this house, and the reports were created by him. It makes no sense and honestly I'm really fed up with it. It keeps bearing on my mind and I keep getting irritated by it, probably just because it affects what I will be doing, not just the work in general which he has a knack for slowing down.
Anyway. New York. I'm happy to go back for that day and a half, get a little cold, see the fam, eat some stuff i otherwise couldn't, maybe pick up some new clothing (seeing as i rewear the same 3 shirts every day...) I have direct flights too! I feel like singing. I wish I didn't sweat so much :(
Construct
De Construct
Re construct
I'm torn. Things can go in so many different directions at this point, and I don't know which way to turn. Life here and life in New York make me so entirely different, and I just am not sure where to throw in the chips. I can live and be happy in both places doing totally different things with my everyday life, and its hard. There are things in me that come from how I have lived for a long time that I can't give up, habits of appearance and the like, but at the same time a lot of things I have given up seem to be worthless to take up again. And it's totally impossible to go back to New York and maintain this way of living.
And honestly, which one is reality?
I played monopoly today and I bought a bunch of properties that other people needed in order to get a monopoly and I refused to trade them. You get your claws in enough to everything so you have leverage, and keep other people from getting too much power, and you really throw a wrench in everything. No one likes checks and balances when the goal is domination.
Thinking on that, last night as we were hanging out we started talking about police and the court system, down here, in California (in reference to the Bart shooting... http://www.mercurynews.com/breakingnews/ci_11977698 ) and I was thinking about how ridiculous the system we live in is. Which brought me to thinking about this song by Crass, called Big A Little A. There's a line in it about how if you don't like the system you shouldn't play the game. I don't want to play, but it's all a game figuring out how to not play as well...
Oy, the curse and gift of thinking haha...
