31 (20 Seconds til the last call, going "hey hey hey hey hey heyy")

I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY

I am SOOOOOOOOOO impatient!!!!! omg oyyyy vey i hate waiting. i need to work on that in a serious way. Potential plans are mulling in the pot and i am watching it waiting for it to boil. its really rough right now and i have a meeting with the director on wednsday and im telling him im leaving. I cant wait for december and january. its so far! hopefully itll go by fast and I can hustle on out of here. i need a job though. neeed! i want to go dancing or something i need to blow off steam. i literally did nothing this weekend.

ive been running my mouth about changing the world lately. I think I need to calm down and plan stuff out but its hard and there are lots of questions and issues to sift through before success can be attained. I feel super ADD right now though. I had a really nice dinner with my sister and we talked about a lot of things, family things. But not current affairs it was more relaxed and explorative. if thats a word. spell check isnt correcting it so maybe it is. Who knows?? I need to get a grip cause im freakin outtttt!!!!

jury duty on tues :((( lame.

30 (What Might've Been lost, don't bother me)

So I'm having out with it. I am leaving new york again. Lehman is not the place for me and I am being suffocated by the school and the living environment. I am speaking to my father about it tomorrow. I have a feeling things will not go well. So I wrote him a little essay to explain myself.

Either way I know something is missing in my life. Well there are a lot of things that are missing, and moving back to New Orleans and really taking the time to situate myself will help a lot, but I think I'm missing something that can't be filled by this change.

That thing is real companionship. I feel lately like I'm kind of in a funk, I can't communicate or something. I'm not feeling like anyone is on the same page as me, even though in a lot of ways I'm finally getting on the same wavelength with people who have great ambitions. I suppose what I'm saying is I feel lonely. That's not pleasant to say, especially on a public blog. But it's the truth. I need a friend.. and I have friends its just that none live around me, none see me on a regular basis. And not to sound depressed or fishing for anything but sometimes I wonder how much people really care about me- or anyone else for that matter. I know my family loves me and I love them too, thats not what I'm talking about though. Oh psh this is a stupid post. Sorry for the like 2 people who read this if you were checking.

But I can begin the countdown! 2 and a half months!! =)