28 ( I found a dream that I can I can speak to, A dream that I can call my own, I found a dream to press my cheek to)

So, I might be going crazy. Or I might just be getting on track.  The past week and change since I updated has been really busy. Don't know if I mentioned I started driving lessons, which is pretty good. But anyway aside from that, last week my friend Sam from Chicago came into the city for a night and I hung out with him... We had a really nice conversation that reminded me that thankfully there are some feminist women around that really understand reality. 

Then I worked a bit over in Jersey on a house which was cool too, that was on the weekend. Since I left New Orleans I've gotten so much weaker. I hate realizing that, but at least it can eventually become corrected. I just need to work haha...

But then! The week began and I've had this rush of stuff. This guy Matt came back from India and we hung out for 2 days and I got to know him better than I had before, and I had a pretty good time, I hope he did too. But all of this stuff came out of the visit that left me with a lot to think about you know? I just gotta sort myself out about it. But anyway as if I had any time to do that inbetween then and last night when 2 other people I'm friends with from New Orleans called me up and were like "We're downtown, come" and of course, I did. And over the hours I spent with them we had a lot of conversation that left me feeling better and worse at the same time. 

Better in the sense that there are other people that unerstand what I'm trying to say and that have amazing input as well, but also in the sense that they will be taking action to make the world a better place. Theyre all great people and I feel like I'm really happy to know them and be involved with the small group of people who can enact change, cause you know the whole saying it only takes a few people to change the world.... I think these are the people. I hope anyway. 

Worse because I am impatient. And I want to do things now and the urgency grows the more I talk about it. And because I feel an impotence creeping into my life here because of the concentration of problems here. New York City is a wonderful beautiful place filled with the best things in the world, but you can't possibly have the best without have the worst as well. The problems with the children here, the schools inherent issues, the intense loneliness that some people feel, the hugely high cost of living, being stacked on top of one another, workaholics being normal, everything in motion is cutthroat and if you aren't moving as fast then you are falling farther and farther behind and it's nearly impossible to get on your feet. Its like the cycle-tron you know those gravity machines, and everyone functional and working within this city is up at the top of the walls spinning so fast theyre fucking blind, and all the people that arent are stuck at the bottom trying to claw their way up in the midst of this super human pull. 

And then of course I have been bitching about school to a few people, but I'm beginning to see some things that I don't like too much. Not going to go into too much detail for your  sake but I'm not transitioning basically. And the evidence of bad attitudes all around is growing, and higher education doesn't seem to alleviate this ignorance at ALLL. Wow, I just pinpointed my problem without even realizing it. That is EXACTLY it. College isn't the cure for ignorance for most people. And I'm trying to cure ignorance. 

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Lynn showed me that and Anyone who reads this blog should look at that too!

http://www.paullussiercompany.com/add_htmls/blessed_unrest.html

Watch this if you want something to think about too. 

By the way I thought about this a little. If you are a god-fearing individual, some people say that now God isn't here because all he can appear to for people is bread. You know what I mean? In the bible, biblical times, without the technology and lifestyle that removed all the people to far from the earth, God was there with them and had a relationship with teh people. And God isn't arond anymore because what people have done. They fucked up and thats why God is gone. They traded Mother Nature and the Holy Father for stuff. Everyone that's part of this religious bit these days, at least in America, is walking the line between begging for God and guidance but bending over for the companies and luxuries of the material machine. But I don't know. Sounds reasonable. God is what we want him to be, her, whatever, but people have betrayed this planet and yet all they ask of it is more and more and they give nothing back but worthless drivel about God. It's time for everyone to be God. It's time for everyone to be Divine and create miracles. Because people can do that. 

I believe in people.    They just need to get pushed you know.

Also, as according to the theory that everything people do is about sex, like everything ever, can I just say something about that to people. Can we stop being such cock blocks then? Shit cause we are gettin it and getting it and straight up getting in other species way. We're jerks.